When we suffer a sudden loss from our daily routine it is generally job loss, moving, the end of a friendship, or the death of a loved one. Those all come with a prescribed grieving period. But when you have an empty nest? Society has depicted parents as throwing a party and renovating the child-turned-adult’s room into a craft room.
News Flash: You are allowed to be sad that your baby has grown up in a blink and has left home! You’re allowed to be emotional, tearing up while looking at photos of your tiny baby snuggled in your arms from days gone by. You’re allowed to feel proud of the young adult you’ve raised. And, yes, you’re allowed to be happy to see them move out of your house, too.
Acknowledge your feelings, and make plans to continue to live your best life at the same time. One of our major stumbling blocks as parents is letting our kids grow up. Especially now, it is time for your young adults to go out into the world without your watchful eye, make mistakes, and problem solve. They know that you are there for them. Now you need to be there for YOU.
Now is the perfect time to fill your empty time slots with physical activity. Join a workout class at a community centre for 8 weeks, like yoga, Zumba, or Pilates. Join a gym! Start going for a walk when you used to drive your fledgling to soccer practice. Get those endorphins pumping through your body and give the upsetting emotions a healthy outlet on a regular basis.
Engage your creativity! You don’t have to change your empty bedroom into an art studio – it’s okay to leave space in your home for your kids, no matter how old they are! But that doesn’t mean you can’t take up a new hobby. Start painting, clay sculpting, sketching, knitting, sewing, or learn how to draw mandalas. Creating art is a balm on your bruised heart!
Socialize: this is the dream of so many parents. You know it. “I can’t wait to hang out with my best friend from college again, as soon as our kids fly the coup!” So many put this step off, hesitant to reach out to someone they haven’t had regular contact within years. Set up one visit with a friend, that aunt who lives 2 hours away, or go full out and plan a girl’s weekend. Parents unintentionally isolate themselves to focus on their family, and that’s so great for your kids, but you need to focus on you now, and what better way to do that than with the comfort of loving friends and family?
Take things slowly and find out what activities you want to add to your schedule; the last thing you want to do is overload yourself, and your schedule, when you’re just getting started on a really beautiful phase of your life. You may also know this phenomenon as mindfulness! (link to another blog post about mindfulness)
Book a Mandalas4You workshop for your next empty-nester social activity and learn how to harness mindfulness while creating art!